Long ago, in Ancient Japan, there lived a great samurai warrior with impeccable taste. Each day before battle, the mighty shogun would replenish his health with a plate of his favorite dish – sashimi – which the warrior revered for its simplicity.
With his sword sheathed, he’d wield his iPhone and begin his daily digital download – TechCrunch... Hypebeast... Facebook... “Do I really care about what Kanye is up to?” the great samurai would ask. The chef, confused, asked of the swordsman, “What is Kanye?” The warrior, astounded by the chef’s ignorance, began to dream of a world where he too could not know of the undeniably talented but overexposed beats warrior they called Kanye.
At that moment, the samurai received a noti cation from a news app: Kim Kardashian would be releasing an album soon. Furious at his own knowledge of this terrible news, the warrior unsheathed his blade and without hesitation, stabbed and pierced the screen of his iPhone, e ectively shattering it, which was a true bummer as the shogun would not be eligible for an upgrade until the Kamakura Period. He’d heard legend of a cheap x for a cracked screen, but wasn’t sure he even wanted a smartphone that forced him to read what everyone else was reading, to know what he did not want to know. The samurai was never seen again, though his story lived on and would eventually serve as inspiration for STASHIMI.